Sorry, just a rant today, best not to read

Today's post is just getting something off my chest so it is really not a good share but I want it down so when I am no longer around it is known how I really felt!
Seth will be going home in a couple of days, I really am sad that he and Charli fought so much I couldn't handle them together, he ended up with Julie spending so much time with Nicole and Suzan that they know him much better than I do. That really saddens me, I know Jeremy would be sad, too, but I just need to be thankful I have Charli and Ames. It is hard too that Seth is not potty trained, he is much to old to make excuses for and let him refuse to go to the bathroom. He was late for his own party because he wet himself and when Les and I took him and Charli to Crackerbarrel he wet himself even though Les took him to the bathroom. I am thinking how Jeremy needs to be home for him. I am afraid if something happens he will have such faint memories of me. It looks like I don't try but I honestly do. I have pictures every where of Charli and Ames but she has them made and just sends me the link to see them, I asked her to get with Gina and have the kids together at Walmart for Christmas, she comes in showing me what she got her Daddy for Christmas bragging on how he collects Mickey Mouse ornaments and what did see give Les and I? Nothing. No simple picture, nothing to back up all the "Oh you really mean so much to me" that I hear.
Well that is all I am going to say on that, I have myself tearing up, I was so good to her and the kids, Getting her a recipe book like I got Gina and making sure I was not cheap with them. It will all come out one day and want it to be know that I was shut out of much of his life and that made it easier to be Meme to Charli and Ames and all my best memories are with them.